Loganville, GA Ok, here is the strenuous program I have been going through to ensure my win in Gainesville on 11/9 - 11/11.
As all of you know athletes must train in order to become the best in their sport.
Tiger Woods started when he was 5. At first I do not think he considered it training. At 5 years old the concept of training is probably non-existent. Tiger figured he was out there with a stick that happened to have some big round thing attached to the end and his dad wanted him to hit a small white ball with it. So he did. My guess, it was fun at first. At some point he probably wished his dad would let him play Nintendo more often. Now he is probably glad that he has enough money to own the Nintendo factory.
The Williams sisters in tennis trained extensively. Because their dad made them do it. They did it on a tennis court that had no net and drive by shootings going on. That was good training, they had to keep moving or they would get shot. There was a problem associated with this, it also helped train the shooters in the cars.
Mike Tyson in the winning part of his career trained pretty heavily. It mostly consisted of Assault and Battery, but it was training all the same. His career started to slide when he turned to rape, that is the wrong type of training for boxing, especially when the guy you are boxing does not want to be raped and has the ability to defend himself.
In light of all these examples I set out to train for what I hope will be my championship run in PROSTAR Street ET.
The first thing I did was look back in my life to see what my parents had taught me so I could have the heart of a champion. I realized as hard as they tried, it just did not take. As a matter of fact I hardly ever played in any sports.
I wanted to learn martial arts when I was about 10. My Mom figured I would kill someone so she would not let me do that. I tried out for little league and turned out to have a good arm for pitching, although this ended up being more of an education in politics than sports, the coach's son always gets to be the pitcher. There are apparently instances where talent is no substitute for nepotism.
My Mom was a tournament bowler and tried to teach me to bowl, two things happened. I sucked and she ran out of patience, a combination that produces a person who will attain a level of competence in a given sport which ranks very much below mediocrity.
In essence I have nothing from my childhood to give me the heart of a champion, at least in the form of sports. (A disclaimer to put out there in the event my parents read this.)
So this means I must physically train in the hopes of developing the will to win. Look at all the NASCAR drivers and Formula 1 drivers. Even the NHRA guys train. Are there any people in the higher levels of racing that are not genetically perfect?
I started to lift weights, twice. Way too much work. Besides, I came this far without being in shape. Not too mention the stress of lifting weights might give me a heart attack or something. How healthy can that be? You definitely can't win by having a heart attack.
Next, I decided the least I can do is start eating healthy. After all this is a no stress win win situation. You eat better, it is easy and your body gets in shape without working out.
This turned out to be a total pain. First of all I do not want to read every friggin RDA fact on everything I eat. Who came up with the calorie intake per day thing anyway? Then I started reading about good cholesterol, bad cholesterol and cholesterol that mugs other cholesterol. Then there are lipids, lipos and some creature called a triglyceride. That must be like a microscopic triceratops which must have to protect itself from some kind of T-rexiglyceride. Why else would it have three glycerides on it?
All this did was stress me out, because now I know more about what is inside of me. None of which is good. Ignorance really is bliss.
In summary I have decided that mentally, physically and nutritionally I have absolutely no competitive edge. This led me to do three things in preparation for this race:
1. I did two practice starts at 6,000 rpms in my driveway Sunday. I am pretty sure the neighbors love this at 8am. I figure they were getting up to go to church anyway.
2. I read something that requires no work at all other than to try and follow the rules. It is by a guy named Lao Tse and he wrote it in a book called the "Tao Te Ching" as a guideline in order to become a better emperor. This was written somewhere around 400-600 BC. I am not quite sure what kind of drag racing they had in China at this time period, but if they did, the people pulling the rickshaws could have followed this.
He does not show himself, therefore he is luminous. He does not define himself, therefore he is distinct. He does not assert himself, therefore he succeeds. He does not boast of his work, therefore it endures for long. It is precisely because he does not compete, that the world cannot compete with him.
3. I am going to have fun, just like I have had all season, regardless of whether I win or lose.
Donations for this training regimen will be greatly appreciated. You can put them directly in my PAYPAL account under the e-mail address paulcav@earthlink.net .