Some of the things that are taught to us come from the most unexpected places. Over the last 4 years I have been drag racing, some very important fundamental lessons that not only pertain to racing but to life itself have become apparent.
For instance, in regard to relationship communication, I found the GPS is not always correct. While I had adamantly insisted to Stephanie that it was. There was a three-fold lesson in this:
1. Sometimes the good old-fashioned map your significant other is holding is indeed more accurate then the GPS your significant other named with great disdain “Gertrude”.
2. Clear, concise, communication between you and your mate is extremely important in order to back up your RV with trailer a half mile to extricate yourself from the situation “Gertrude” put you in.
3. Explicative’s, whether stated out loud or muttered under your breath do not enhance “clear, concise” communication. In fact, they result in clear, defined dents in your trailer.
Another relationship lesson learned is the one which some of us have done and all of us have the capability of doing. Make sure all parties you are traveling with are indeed in the vehicle when you leave the gas station. I will not go into great detail here, other than the fact I can assure you no good forms of communication result after turning around to go back and pick up the person you failed to notice was missing prior to leaving.
Because of all of the driving we do to get to races, some of us may listen to satellite radio for hours on end. A new thing I have been learning is how to determine what type of audience listens to the XM/Sirius RawDog comedy channel by the commercials it plays. After determining what type of audience I think RawDog Comedy is, I feel like I need to take a shower and evaluate my reasons for liking RawDog.
Commercials are supposed to be targeted towards a specific audience. In the case of RawDog I have come to the conclusion the audience is a bunch of Tax evading, credit card debted, Pencil dicked, get-rich-quick scheming people with big dark ugly bags under their eyes.
First there are the commercials to help people eliminate or at least reduce the money owed on taxes. The guy doing this commercial speaks in a low soft voice much like Marlon Brando in the “Godfather”. I have learned by listening to this commercial I do not want to meet this guy so I will just continue to pay my taxes and avoid an always embarrassing for everyone “horse head” incident.
Then there are the commercials from a company which informs you most of the clients they deal with have credit card debt in between 10,000 and 35,000 dollars. Did you know there is a secret way to reduce your credit card debt by up to 40% and this company can help you accomplish it? It is so secret the credit card companies do not want you to know it. Of course there is always the non-secret way to cure credit card debt, which is to pay the bill each month or just plain not use the card.
Next there is the Prolifix commercial to help thicken your penis. Apparently women like short and thick as opposed to long and thin. This product comes with a free measuring device to check your results. I am guessing this device can also be used to check the ground clearance of your motorcycle in the staging lanes.
The one I like informs you there is a way you can start a business without money or merchandise you have warehouse and still be able to sell the merchandise on Ebay. So let me see if I get this right. I sell an item on Ebay I do not have physical possession of, take the money from someone who bought it. Tell someone else who I have not met, to ship this item I have just sold, then send the shipper of the item “X” percentage of the money I got from the person who bought the item and hope it actually gets shipped to the person. Would it not be easier for the people who have the merchandise to begin with to sell it?
Lastly, I have learned that there is a cure for the dark baggy eyes the Tax evading, credit card debted, Pencil dicked, get-rich-quick scheming people have. It is called Hydrolix and it stops your capillaries located under your eyes from exploding.
I believe this thing called “sleep” works too.
So you see racing does not only provide us with an avenue to cure our “need for speed”, but also helps to improve communication in our relationships and educate us in various other topics, however useless they may be.
See ya on the track!